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From indecent remarks to sexual assault, it is estimated that 50% of women have been subject to sexual harassment at some point in their working lives.

While the Sex Discrimination Act provides the legal right not to be sexually harassed at work, many women (and men) are still experiencing it and many incidents are going unreported.

But one website is helping to change that. Whisper is an anonymous secret-sharing social media network that allows users to post thoughts, feelings or events online, without compromising their identity.

And, alarmingly, many women are using the site to share stories of sexual harassment at work. And the results not only show just how rife the issue is, but offer a snapshot of the effects these incidents can have on the victims.

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You tell yourself that you will:
lose a few pounds, and then you order dessert.
be careful with your money, and then you buy shoes on a whim.
be more kind and supportive, and then you argue over something trivial.
get started on your work, and then you watch cat videos on the internet.

Lapses in self-control are a great source of frustration for human beings. Habitual indulgence of impulses or avoidance of discomfort can keep us from acting on important goals and values. This gap between what we feel is important and how we spend our time and energy leads to dissatisfaction and unnecessary struggle. An absence of self-control is strongly correlated with depression, anxiety, and low quality of life.

The flipside of this is that the ability to follow through on commitments is one of the greatest contributors to happiness and success. Research shows that self-control has a significant positive impact on physical health, psychological well-being, academic and work performance, and quality of interpersonal relationships.

Willpower has received a lot of attention lately. A good way to exhaust willpower is to treat impulses and urges as problems that need to be resisted. In general, people with healthy self-discipline are more focused on approaching goals than they are on avoiding obstacles. Additionally, what you believe about willpower makes a difference. Not only are people who view willpower as an unlimited resource more successful self-regulators, their bodies even use food energy differently than people who think of willpower as something that diminishes when used.

Many people argue that a life of self-control is boring and rigid. What about spontaneity? Doing what we feel like whenever we feel like it is not spontaneity - it is the prioritization of urges over importance. Knowing that you can consciously choose your response based on what matters most to you is an incredible source of freedom and confidence. To be truly spontaneous is to consciously exercise your free will in any circumstance.

How can we build the skill of self-control? One proven method begins with mindful awareness - there is a very strong correlation between control of attention and control of behavior. The good news is that attentional control is a skill that responds well to practice. The better news is that this practice is simple and can be applied to any situation.

The next time you find yourself feeling resistance to acting on a commitment, try this:

Observe the sensations and thoughts of resistance and identify these as nothing more than products of electrical activity in your nervous system.

Open your posture by taking a gentle breath, expanding your chest and spine, and relaxing your shoulders and belly

Focus on what matters most to you and the next valuable action

Commit by taking that action or scheduling that action immediately

Like any skill, you will find increased success with practice. The key here is that you are not trying to get rid of the sensations and thoughts of resistance, you are simply observing and accepting them as part of your human experience. This creates the clarity and space to choose a response based on what you are truly committed to.

Sources:
Bowlin, S. L., & Baer, R. A. (2012). Relationships between mindfulness, self-control, and psychological functioning. Personality and Individual Differences, 52(3), 411-415.
Cheung, T. T., Gillebaart, M., Kroese, F., & De Ridder, D. (2014). Why are people with high self-control happier? The effect of trait self-control on happiness as mediated by regulatory focus. Personality and Social Psychology, 5, 722.
Hofmann, W., Luhmann, M., Fisher, R. R., Vohs, K. D., & Baumeister, R. F. (2013). Yes, But Are They Happy? Effects of Trait Self‐Control on Affective Well‐Being and Life Satisfaction. Journal of personality.
Job, V., Dweck, C. S., & Walton, G. M. (2010). Ego depletion--Is it all in your head? Implicit theories about willpower affect self-regulation. Psychological science.
Leary, M. R., Adams, C. E., & Tate, E. B. (2006). Hypo‐Egoic Self‐Regulation: Exercising Self‐Control by Diminishing the Influence of the Self. Journal of personality, 74(6), 1803-1832.
Magen, E., Kim, B., Dweck, C. S., Gross, J. J., & McClure, S. M. (2014). Behavioral and neural correlates of increased self-control in the absence of increased willpower. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 201408991.
Tangney, J. P., Baumeister, R. F., & Boone, A. L. (2004). High self‐control predicts good adjustment, less pathology, better grades, and interpersonal success. Journal of personality, 72(2), 271-324.

Have a practice that works for you? I invite you to share your experience in the comment section below so that others will benefit.

Dave Mochel is the founder of Applied Attention; a company dedicated to teaching people how to close the gap between what is most important and how they spend their time and energy. He translates research in neuroscience, behavior, and performance into simple principles and practices that can be incorporated into any activity or organization. The result of his work is reduced stress and anxiety with improved performance, relationships, and quality of life. For more information, visit www.AppliedAttention.com

For more by Dave Mochel, click here.

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Republished from The Philosopher's Mail, with kind permission of Alain de Botton.

It’s one of the grandest and oddest words out there, so lofty, it doesn’t sound like something one could ever consciously strive to be – unlike say, being cultured, or kind. Others could perhaps compliment you on being it, but it wouldn’t be something you could yourself ever announce you had become.

Nevertheless, though it’s impossible ever to reach a stable state of wisdom, as an aspiration, wisdom deserves to be rehabilitated and take its place among a host of other, more typical goals one might harbour.

It’s woven from many strands:

REALISM

old person mountain

The wise are, first and foremost, ‘realistic’ about how challenging many things can be. They aren’t devoid of hope (that would be a folly of its own), but they are conscious of the complexities entailed in any project: for example, raising a child, starting a business, spending an agreeable weekend with the family, changing the nation, falling in love… Knowing that something difficult is being attempted doesn’t rob the wise of ambitions, but it makes them more steadfast, calmer and less prone to panic about the problems that will invariably come their way.

GRATITUDE

mother child

Properly aware that much can and does go wrong, the wise are unusually alive to moments of calm and beauty, even extremely modest ones, of the kind that those with grander plans rush past. With the dangers and tragedies of existence firmly in mind, they can take pleasure in a single, uneventful, sunny day, or some pretty flowers growing by a brick wall, the charm of a three-year-old playing in a garden or an evening of banter among a few friends. It isn’t that they are sentimental and naive, precisely the opposite: because they have seen how hard things can get, they know how to draw the full value from the peaceful and the sweet – whenever and wherever these arise.

FOLLY

mother child

The wise know that all human beings, themselves included, are deeply sunk in folly: they have irrational desires and incompatible aims, they are unaware of a lot, they are prone to mood swings, they are visited by all kinds of fantasies and delusions – and are always buffeted by the curious demands of their sexuality. The wise are unsurprised by the ongoing co-existence of deep immaturity and perversity alongside quite adult qualities like intelligence and morality. They know that we are barely evolved apes. Aware that at least half of life is irrational, they try – wherever possible – to budget for madness and are slow to panic when it (reliably) rears its head.

The wise take the business of laughing at themselves seriously. They hedge their pronouncements, they are sceptical in their conclusions. Their certainties are not as brittle as those of others. They laugh from the constant collisions between the noble way they’d like things to be, and the demented way they in fact often turn out.

POLITENESS

mother child

The wise are realistic about social relations, in particular, about how difficult it is to change people’s minds and have an effect on their lives.

They are therefore extremely reticent about telling people too frankly what they think. They have a sense of how seldom it is useful to get censorious with others. They want – above all – that things be nice between people, even if this means they are not totally authentic. So they will sit with someone of an opposite political persuasion and not try to convert them; they will hold their tongue at someone who seems to be announcing a wrong-headed plan for reforming the country, educating their child or directing their personal life. They’ll be aware of how differently things can look through the eyes of others and will search more for what people have in common than what separates them.

SELF-ACCEPTANCE

old person mirror

The wise have made their peace with the yawning gap between how they would ideally want to be and what they are actually like. They have come to terms with their idiocies, flaws, ugliness, limitations and drawbacks. They are not ashamed of themselves – and therefore, don’t have to lie or dissemble in front of others. Without self-love or vanity, they can give those close to them a fairly accurate map of their neuroses and faults and of the reasons why they will be hard to live around (and therefore often aren’t such difficult companions).

FORGIVENESS

nelson mandela laughing

The wise are realistic about other people too. They recognise the extraordinary pressures everyone is under to pursue their own ambitions, defend their interests and seek their own pleasures. It can make others appear extremely ‘mean’ and purposefully evil, but this would be to over-personalise the issue. The wise know that most hurt is not intentional, it’s a by-product of the constant collision of blind competing egos in a world of scarce resources.

The wise are therefore slow to anger and judge. They don’t leap to the worst conclusions about what is going on in the minds of others. They will be readier to forgive from a proper sense of how difficult every life is: harbouring as it does so many frustrated ambitions, disappointments and longings. The wise appreciate the pressures people are under. Of course they shouted, of course they were rude, naturally they want to overtake on the inside lane… The wise are generous to the reasons for which people might not be nice. They feel less persecuted by the aggression and meanness of others, because they have a sense of where it comes from: a place of hurt.

RESILIENCE

old african tribe

The wise have a solid sense of what they can survive. They know just how much can go wrong and things will still be – just about – liveable. The unwise person draws the boundaries of their contentment far too far out: so that it encompasses, and depends upon, fame, money, personal relationships, popularity, health… The wise person sees the advantages of all of these, but also knows that they may – before too long, at a time of fate’s choosing – have to draw the borders right back and find contentment within a more bounded space.

ENVY

shepherd

The wise person doesn’t envy idly: they realise that there are some good reasons why they don’t have many of the things they really want. They look at the tycoon or the star and have a decent grasp of why they didn’t ever make it to that level. It looks like just an accident, an unfair one, but there were in fact some logical grounds: they didn’t work as hard, they don’t have anything like the drive or mental capacity…

At the same time, the wise see that some destinies are truly shaped by nothing more than accident. Some people are promoted randomly. Companies that aren’t especially deserving can suddenly make it big. Some people have the right parents. The winners aren’t all noble and good. The wise appreciate the role of luck and don’t curse themselves overly at those junctures where they have evidently not had as much of it as they would have liked.

The wise emerge as realistic about the consequences of winning and succeeding. They may want to win as much as the next person, but they are aware of how many fundamentals will remain unchanged, whatever the outcome. They don’t exaggerate the transformations available to us. They know how much we remain tethered to some basic dynamics in our personalities, whatever job we have or material possession we acquire. This is both cautionary (for those who succeed) and hopeful (for those who won’t). The wise see the continuities across those two categories over-emphasised by modern consumer capitalism: ‘success’ and ‘failure’.

REGRETS

old woman smile

In our ambitious age, it is common to begin with dreams of being able to pull off an unblemished life, where one can hope to get the major decisions – in love and work – right.

But the wise realise that it is impossible to fashion a spotless life; one will make some extremely large and utterly uncorrectable errors in a number of areas. Perfectionism is a wicked illusion. Regret is unavoidable.

But regret lessens the more we see that error is endemic across the species. One can’t look at anyone’s life story without seeing some devastating mistakes etched across it. These errors are not coincidental but structural; they arise because we all lack the information we need to make choices in time-sensitive situations. We are all, where it counts, steering almost blind.

CALM

old woman smile

The wise know that turmoil is always around the corner – and they have come to fear and sense its approach. That’s why they nurture such a strong commitment to calm. A quiet evening feels like an achievement. A day without anxiety is something to be celebrated. They are not afraid of having a somewhat boring time. There could, and will again, be so much worse…

Following the Ebola virus outbreak that has now killed 400 people in West Africa, an expert has warned that there may be a possibility of it spreading to Europe and the UK if it can't be contained in major cities.

Dr Derek Gatherer, a researcher at Lancaster University, told ITV News the main threat of Ebola would come from infected people travelling from major airports in West Africa to Europe.

But what is Ebola and why does it strike fear whenever it is mentioned?

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), Ebola or Ebola haemorrhagic fever is rare but it is severe and infectious, caused by a virus that was first recorded in 1976. It broke out in Nzara, Sudan, and Yambuku, Democratic Republic of Congo.

The reason for its deadly reputation is because once you have it, the chances of recovering are very slim - around a 10% rate. However if symptoms are detected early, there is a better chance.

ebola

Scientists believe it originated from fruit bats, antelopes and monkeys, and it passed to humans through blood, secretions, organs or other bodily fluids of infected animals. In Africa, for instance, infection has transmitted from dead or ill animals.

"Ebola then spreads in the community through human-to-human transmission, with infection resulting from direct contact (through broken skin or mucous membranes) with the blood, secretions, organs or other bodily fluids of infected people, and indirect contact with environments contaminated with such fluids," writes the WHO.

Even burying the bodies requires care as the virus can still transmit if the dead body is touched, and men who have recovered can still pass on the virus seven weeks afterwards through their sperm.

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"Before Ebola can be identified as the disease affecting a person, other conditions including malaria, typhoid fever, cholera, and other haemorrhagic fevers must be ruled out," reports The Independent.

"Laboratory tests can then be used to confirm the disease, but these samples are an extreme biohazard and tests must be carried out under controlled conditions."

Symptoms begin very abruptly within five to 10 days of infection.

Take a look:

Alcoholics should be offered a once-a-day tablet on the NHS to try to help them curb their addiction, health officials have said.

The drug nalmefene should be made available to heavy drinkers, the National Institute of Health and Care Excellence (Nice) said in new draft guidance.

Around 600,000 people across England and Wales could benefit from the drug in their struggle against alcohol addiction, manufacturers Lundbeck estimated.

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The drug helps to reduce the craving for alcohol by modulating the reward mechanism in the brain.

The draft guidance from Nice states that nalmefene should be available as an option for those who are heavy drinkers but not those who require immediate detoxification.

"Alcohol addiction is a serious issue for so many," said Professor Carole Longson, director of Nice's Health Technology Evaluation Centre.

"Those who could be prescribed nalmefene have already taken the first big steps in their fight against their addiction by visiting their doctor and taking part in therapy programmes.

"We are pleased to be able to make draft recommendations which can support people in their fight.

"When used alongside psychosocial interventions, nalmefene is clinically and cost effective for the NHS compared with psychosocial interventions alone."

A consultation has been opened on the draft guidance and it is expected final guidance will be published later this year.

Since Magaluf Girl was filmed mamading - that's giving 24 men blowjobs for a free drink - great debate has erupted over consent, whether she's being slut-shamed or taken advantage of.

But while the incident is shocking, I doubt there are any women (or men) who have been on a lads or ladies holiday and haven't come across something similar.

Brits abroad are a well known nightmare - both for the Foreign Office who have to help stags with their genitals superglued to Latvian lamp-posts and for the locals who have to endure teens and adults literally running riot, hopped up on cheap shots.

When people are placed in a pressure-cooker environment set within a microcosm (think football hooliganism or festivals, for example), perfectly normal people do seriously grim things such as punch someone in the nose or crap beside someone's tent (yes, I'm looking at whoever did this to me at Bestival).

During a 20-something, tequila-fuelled trip to Malia (where The Inbetweener's film was set) it was every bit as terrifying as the film made out. People snogging and groping en masse, there was lots of alcohol and a Lord of the Flies atmosphere that felt positively feral.

I remember a mate voluntarily flashing her boobs much to our collective horror, but the look on her face however wasn't one of sexual exploitation; she was having the time of her life.

That's not to say women aren't exploited or there aren't complete creeps who lurk at the edges trying to take advantage of young women, but I think we need to remember that alcohol has got a big role to play in this.

It isn't a question whether or not Magaluf Girl was drunk, but the bigger, dysfunction we have as a nation where a) we can't abide teetotallers and assume they are joyless weirdos and b) we have a pack mentality where everyone chugs as much booze as possible long after our university years.

Personally, I find it exhausting.

I made the conscious decision to stop drinking to excess after I realised that I didn't really like feeling hungover all the time and I was fed up of doing stupid things. But no one made it easy for me - some friends even refused to meet up unless I was drinking.

The same people who are pointing the finger at Magaluf Girl most likely aren't any better in the drinking and doing stupid things department. We have a drink culture that wholeheartedly believes in peer pressure and excess, and for some reason, we don't think there is something wrong with that.

Teetotallers aren't any more moral or better people, but I think that before blaming Magaluf Girl for being bereft of any decency, we should take a long, hard look at the drink culture than even normalised this type of behaviour in the first place.

Once upon a time Amy Elsegood was bullied and called "blob face" because of a dark facial birthmark along the right-hand side of her face.

Fast-forward to 2014 and the brave 22-year-old has posted a no make-up selfie to show people who she really is. And the reaction has been incredible, with people from all over the world showing their support.

Amy has had worn special make-up from the NHS since she was 11 that helps her conceal the marking on her face.

"I wore it every time I left the house as I was too self-conscious to go out without hiding my birthmark first," she says.

"But then one day I just thought, 'you were born like this, there is no reason to be ashamed,' so I posted a no make-up selfie.

"No-one could say anything negative that I haven't heard before.

"The reaction on Facebook was amazing, I had over 600 likes with people all over the world messaging me, it was surreal."

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Amy had laser surgery from being born up until she was 10-years-old, she then decided that it was no longer necessary as she hated the procedure.

She added: "I hated being put under general anaesthetic every time.

"It made my face so sore afterwards too.

"Laser treatment tends to work best when you're young, making it less effective as I got older, but I know that without it that my birthmark would be a lot redder than it is now.

"I would probably think about having it again now that I'm older but with my cosmetic make-up I'm able to conceal my birthmark well anyway."

birthmark girl

Despite Amy's fantastic response to her no make-up selfie online, she has been a target to bullies throughout her life.

Amy said: "I was about four years old when I realised I was different.

"Other kids would point at me, call me 'blob face' and say that I was ugly.

"I even had one woman come up to me on holiday to say that I would've been pretty if it wasn't for my birthmark."

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When Amy became a teenager she thought she would find it difficult to find a boyfriend.

She added: "I was so embarrassed by my port wine stain that I never thought anyone would accept me for who I was.

"But then I met Josh at 16, he was the same age but from a different school.

"The first time I met him I was wearing make-up to conceal what was underneath but after a few weeks into our relationship I wanted to show him the real me.

"I decided to meet him with no make-up on, I said 'this is what I really look like,' but he simply replied with 'it makes no difference to me.'"

"We've been together for six years now."

However, Amy still felt self-conscious when leaving the house, she didn't go anywhere without wearing her cover-up.

Amy said: "It wasn't until the cancer research no make-up selfie came about that I really accepted who I was.

"My birthmark doesn't need to define me and no-one should be ashamed to show who they really are.

"Since posting my selfie online I have gained so much confidence, it's been great helping others who are in a similar position too.

"I've learnt that there are much worse things to have in life and I've accepted me for me."

We've seen the photos and there is no getting round it. Not only is he the cutest baby on our front pages at the moment, Prince George is also on the cusp of his most exciting and challenging developmental period. He is toddling, cruising and crawling around - and Mums and Dads know that they can't keep their eyes off them at this stage. With George's 1st birthday on July 22, seasoned parents know that the Terrible Two's is a myth. It's the period up to the second birthday that is often parenting's biggest challenge. With sleep routines under pressure from teething and the ability to climb out of the cot - William and Kate will find themselves stretched at either end of the day and overnight. Come eight o'clock at night, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will be ready to put their feet up, exhausted from running around after their fast moving bundle of joy, and looking forward to when the nanny comes back in the next day to provide an extra pair of hands and eyes.

With the help of Rosemary Albone, Early Years and Families Expert, we have considered these developmental stages that will keep Mum, Dad and the Royal Nanny very busy in the coming 12 months:

1. Walkies. We've seen the pictures of George out and about, toddling and holding on to Kate's hand. There will come a point in the day when she needs to let go of him for an instant - and he pulls himself up on the sofa to get a better look at that lovely tiara on the mantelpiece he's had his eye on.

2. The Jolly Sportsman. George will experience a huge burst in his physical skills at this stage. He is now upright and able to move independently, developing his gross motor skills and honing early hand eye co-ordination (I can pick up, drop, throw an object) as well as fine motor skills (raisin spotted at fifty crawl paces, race over there, pick it up and put it straight in my mouth!).

3. Renaissance Toddler: Adventurer and Scientist. George will be at the height of his early exploration stage, as he gets to know the environment that he lives in, works out how to open and close doors, tries going up and down the stairs (with Kate, William or the Royal Nanny in close attendance), and has a go at everyday activities in his unique toddler way. He will also be a mini scientist - with an insatiable curiosity about how the world works, with an ability to move towards things that are interesting to him. "Children are hard wired to learn and be curious, test things out. George might have been looking at Lupo the dog's bowl for the last 12 months, but now he can get there and try what's in it for himself! All of which is cute to tell your friends about but ultimately this stage requires a lot of vigilance from parents and carers."

4. Sleep, what sleep? George will be exhausted by all the physical activities and the growth spurt that he is living through, but with teething and the current lighter evenings, his sleep pattern may be impacted. "If William and Kate have established an evening routine, they must stick to it. Even if parents can only spare 15 minutes to calm their baby down with a nice bath and a bedtime story, they will help their child get off to sleep and allows them to still have a relaxed evening together." Luckily for the Royal Nanny, George will still be napping every afternoon, as children his age still need restorative sleep.

5. Early diplomacy skills. Communication is key at this stage in development and children will be happy to babble away, with one or two random words that may have a meaning for close family and carers but which will not be understood outside the family group. Regular shared mealtimes, story time and song time will help George develop his social and communication skills at this age, setting him off on an early path towards his role as a statesman, royal and unofficial ambassador for the UK. In a departure from Royal Etiquette, the Queen would not have taken meals with her children frequently, but you can be sure that in this household it will be a non negotiable.

Exhausted yet? If we could send one message to the young royals it would be - strap yourselves in, this is going to be one year you'll be tested, challenged and surprised, and possibly glad to see the end of as parents!

There's been a massive outcry this week over the young lass who allegedly performed sex acts on 24+ blokes in a nightclub in Magaluf. A lot of people seem to think it's an indication of our crumbling society. Part of the dangers of drinking. Others have ignored the drinking and seem pretty stuck on this being a case of double standards. Sexism.

I really don't feel like either are particularly relevant. Would it have made the papers if it had been a young boy performing sex acts on women whilst being a drunk Brit Abroad?

Yes.

Yes because it taps into a well-worn, often touted theory that our country is going to hell and so are our young people. That we should shame them and show them the error of their ways, safe and smug in the knowledge that technology did not advance in time for any of our f*ck ups to be recorded on mobile devices. That we may not have our youth anymore, but at least our dignity remains intact.

If we are shocked that this happened in public? Then we need to reconsider what that really means. Because it didn't happen in a local nightclub. It took place somewhere that is flocked to by children, worked in by children/adults that have never really grown up. A place that has a Lord of the Flies mentality. There is always anarchy when young people are held exclusively responsible for themselves. Drunk or Sober.

Put a young person who does not know themself yet in an unregulated environment like this, and mass consensual sex acts are the least of your problems. Because that's the real danger here. Raising young adults who do not know themselves. Have no idea of what boundaries are, no self-esteem. Then letting them loose and plying them with alcohol amongst their peers.

We did this.

Not them.

There is one other place where young people are in charge of themselves. Where they get to keep their drinking away from responsible, mature, fully grown up supervision. where Lord of the Flies or young adult totalitarianism reigns supreme:

America.

Having a general drinking age of over 21 means that young adults are forced to conduct their drinking behind closed doors. When they do that no one is regulating their behaviour. And horrendous things happen when young people who haven't fully developed a moral code get together and alcohol is consumed. Things that shock us in the UK when we read about them, but are quite commonplace in The States.

We are making a huge mistake in the U.K. by having the legal age of drinking the same as the year we become adults. Alcohol is not a right of passage, it isn't synonymous with adulthood. Yet having it at 21 spells clear disaster as our friends in the U.S. have clearly demonstrated. Having it at 16 would be stupid because no young person should associate sex with alcohol any more than they already do.

I like 17. It gives kids a year at home to be supervised before they go off to Uni. Time to breathe, Be around alcohol legally and get to safely experiment with it in front of adults. I like that it's the same year we are also able to learn to drive. Give a kid the option of supposed freedom like alcohol, and actual freedom like being independent enough to drive? Most will choose the former. The ones that don't are a great indicator of early addiction issues, right in front of our noses. Early enough for us to do something about.

Way before it gets to the point of being a poor, lost, inebriated 24 year old lass performing mass sex acts in a grotty Magaluf nightclub.

It's not nice that another young girl has been humiliated because of a lack of knowing herself. It's awful that she won't be the last. But it's not an excuse to have a public outcry about young people drinking. Not when we could be refocusing our efforts on actually doing something constructive about it to make sure it happens less in the future.

Because cheap alcohol and the freedom to get as drunk as we like doesn't appeal to a young person who does know themselves. Knows who they are. What they stand for. What they will not accept. How they want to be treated by other people. Young girls who have a sense of self-worth don't feel the need to bow to peer pressure.

They don't end up as cheap media fodder.

Spend five minutes on Facebook and you'll find cancer.

Be it those ubiquitous 'cancer selfies' or the bemusing proliferation of posts saying 'If you hate cancer, like this', this is a disease that provokes us to do something, even if that something is utterly trivial.

But how easy is it, really, to do something beyond the trivial, other than putting a few coins in a collecting tin or, indeed, shaking that tin?

In the absence of an inspirational figure like the wonderful Stephen Sutton - whose young life was claimed by cancer this week and whose profile on social media and traditional media actually did make a difference - do we really have to train for a marathon or help run a charity shop to do something meaningful in the fight against cancer?

Our charity, Fcancer, came into being to address this very issue.

We wanted to do something that went beyond the rather amorphous aim of 'cancer awareness' (are any of us really unaware of cancer?) and instead give people the tools they need to actually do something in the battle against cancer.

We didn't want it to be about money, for the simple reason that not everyone has it.
And we didn't want it to be an old-fashioned volunteering programme - most of us don't have the time or even the inclination to commit to spending every Saturday afternoon battling the till in our local charity shop, or putting in a 10-hour shift at work and then doing another four-hour shift in our local hospital.

We wanted to create something that everyone could get involved in. So we made it about donating something all of us can spare, to a greater or lesser extent: a little time and a lot of skills.

And of course, access to skills is just as important for charities, as of course, they pay to bring in highly-skilled staff. So we launched Fcancer, a micro-volunteering platform that lets people use their skills as currency.

The 'F' stands for 'fight', nothing ruder, because Fcancer allows us all to get involved meaningfully in the fight against cancer.

The desire to 'do something' is amplified when you are faced - as so many of us are - with a loved one diagnosed with cancer.

Cancer is so often articulated as a 'battle' but, for those who have a loved one affected by the disease, one of the most common feelings is a sense of impotence.

All you can do is look on from the sidelines as your loved one submits him or herself to the challenge of surgery, chemo, radiotherapy and twice-yearly scans. The battle is taking place between the patient, medics and the disease itself.

The churning stomach, that desperate wish that you could do something, anything, to help, can be experienced as something akin to the 'fight or flight' rush of adrenaline you feel when you sense danger, but flight isn't an option, and the ones doing the fighting are the medics and the cancer patient.

At Fcancer, we know this feeling all too well, as each one of our founding members has had a parent affected by cancer. Indeed, it is these circumstances that led to the charity being founded.

Fcancer works a little like an online dating site, except you won't run the risk of spending a lacklustre evening in a gastropub with a stranger who has lied about their height.

You just sign up and create a profile, detailing what skills you have to offer. The cancer charities do the same, listing what skills they are looking for to help with a particular project, fundraising initiative or event.

And then, as with online dating, the two parties can just hook up and take things from there. It might be a one-night stand, just a torrid afternoon of app design or case study writing for a charity who may never need your help again, or it could form the basis of something long-lasting and beautiful... It's up to you and the charity.

Unlike with online dating, you're pretty likely to find a match. Whatever you can do, there's a cancer charity somewhere that is looking for someone with just those skills - it could be anyone from a heavyweight such as Cancer Research or Sue Ryder, to smaller, community-based cancer charities such as the Wessex Cancer Trust.

Ours is a skills-rich generation, and the brilliance of this sort of 'micro-volunteering' model is that it enables people to volunteer in a way that fits in with their lifestyle, and the needs of the charity too. It doesn't matter how much money you do or don't have, it's your skills that count.

Just as comedian Jason Mansford used his celebrity and social media reach to help courageous teen Stephen Sutton find a wider platform for his own fundraising initiative for the Teenage Cancer Trust, this sort of micro-volunteering enables everyone to use their own skills, whatever they may be, for the common good.

With cancer charities able to divert funds they would have spent on PRs, social media experts, event stewards and graphic designers into supporting people with cancer - or into research that will help stop the disease taking hold in the first place - every block of time donated takes us just a couple of steps closer to beating cancer.

And you don't even have to rattle a collecting tin.

http://fcancer.org/

I've always hated women's events. I never really saw the point. So I kind of judged myself for the fact that last night, I wasn't just at one, but also organised the whole shebang. (We hosted 75 aspiring female entrepreneurs at the opening event of Escape the City's 'She Series'.) As I was busy judging myself, I forced myself to remember why I had kicked off this event series.

A few years ago, I started noticing that when I met CEOs, they were men; when I met PAs, they were women. At tech or startup events, I'd often be the only woman. And really - did it matter? Yet at certain work meetings, something inside me would flicker whenever a senior male executive would say something borderline inappropriate (not rude enough to report to HR, but dodgy enough that he would never repeat the words if my father was in the room).

My newfound gender consciousness wasn't about boundary issues or the working motherhood debate. It was about figuring out how I could be useful to a universe where a woman was no longer sentenced to life in the kitchen yet was apprehensive about life in the boardroom.

I watched Sheryl Sandberg's TED talk on why we have too few women leaders and read Lean In and Bossypants and The End of Men and Anne-Marie Slaughter's warning that we can't have it all.

Even after my self-imposed mini-crash-course on women's issues in the 21st century, I still bought into what I've always believed (that passion and talent are gender-neutralising forces). But I became more aware of a gnawing tension within myself - an internal battle between the feminine urge to nest and the masculine urge to hunt.

Hunting and Nesting

If you're an entrepreneur, you're a hunter: you're looking to grow your resources to bring back to the cave and there's something fundamentally masculine about that. Meanwhile, females are socially conditioned to focus on nesting - on making the cave look pretty and taking care of the children.

But this is the generation that is seeing a new blending of the masculine and the feminine: we're going to have more female CEOs and more stay-at-home Dads. At last night's event, I emphasised to our attendees that focusing on the word 'female' in the phrase 'female entrepreneur' isn't as important as focusing on the word 'entrepreneur'.

I am grateful for living in an era where I can go to a tech event and geek out with male peers about hunting matters, then go home and bake gluten-free cookies with my girlfriends while we gossip about nesting matters.

This gives me faith that years from now, I'll still be able to go to work to hunt all day, then come home and play with my kids and hang out with my husband and somehow make it all work.

The Ovaries Issue

All you have to do to realise the vastness of your own ignorance about women's issues is to watch a close girlfriend become a parent. It's happened to me twice now, and with each friend popping out a baby that requires 24/7 attention, I feel more and more uninformed about what it is that I actually want out of life and what I'm allowed to realistically desire.

I watch them grapple with questions that never even occurred to me; I see their priorities re-shuffling; I realise how very little I know about the realities of being an ambitious woman who is also a parent.

At this unmarried and childless point in my life, my opinions on balancing career and family are feeble. I can't even begin to imagine (let alone understand) the relentless guilt that seems to underpin working motherhood, as Indra K. Nooyi, the CEO of PepsiCo discusses here.

At last night's event, I said that I wanted to steer the event away from the "women in business" tone because it's not about being "a woman". We are all ambitious people. We are all curious people. We happen to be women, and so we have ovaries. This comes with a set of issues that only some people understand.

Once, I heard that being a woman in business is like being a Chinese businessman in America. It's simply another layer of experience that not everyone might relate to, and it's tough to decide within yourself if you're going to let that layer become a core or a peripheral part of how you interact with those around you. If I ever mention the concept of a biological clock to male colleagues, they stare at me blankly.

Similarly, I accept that I don't always understand what they're going through with their own financial clocks ticking (that social pressure they feel to earn a certain salary). But as long as we understand each other enough to keep hunting together effectively, it doesn't really seem to matter that we slightly differ on primal levels.

Writing Your Own Rules

This is an era in which women have the freedom to become wives and mothers, and/or Fortune 500 CEOs, and/or President, and/or whatever they choose to be.

I know women whose sole aim is to lock down a husband and a house. I know women who are so focused on their career that their Blackberry has become their boyfriend. I'm friends with all kinds of women, and I don't think there's anything wrong with husband-hunting or status-chasing if that's what makes you happy. I just like women who are so engaged and happy living their own lives that they don't have time to ruminate or judge what others are doing.

A key reason why I used to feel uncomfortable at women's events is because when I was dragged along to them, they seemed full of career-oriented women who judged stay-at-home mothers. It seemed like most of this disdain arose from their worldview that to be useful, a woman needed to hunt.

I subscribe to the (gender agnostic) advice offered by Burberry's former CEO Angela Ahrendts at a commencement speech she delivered to her alma mater:

"The game changing question is, do you truly know what your Core Purpose in life is, your fundamental reason for existence, and can you clearly articulate your Core Values, your guiding principles?"

She quotes management guru Jim Collins: "A Core Purpose is your reason for being, it captures your soul, with the primary role to guide and inspire. You cannot fulfil a Purpose, it is like a guiding star on the horizon - forever pursued, but never reached."

She says, "Identifying your Core Values early in life will help provide clarity into the type of organization you want to work for, the type of people you want to be with, and the type of leader you aspire to be."

At last night's event, we heard from Emilie Holmes of Good & Proper tea; Harriot Pleydell-Bouverie of Mallow & Marsh; Victoria Eggs of Victoria Eggs; Lizzie Fane of ThirdYearAbroad.com; and the ladies from Broad Minded.

What gives me faith in the power of women is watching ladies like them live out the concepts that Ahrendts describes. Maybe leaning in isn't always about climbing to the C-suite of a Fortune 500 company. Maybe being a good mother isn't always about picking up your kids from school.

Obviously, I don't know the answers yet. But what I have figured out so far is that being useful starts with learning how to just be. And finding meaning in wherever that may lead.

Escape the City is an online community dedicated to helping corporate professionals to do something different. We run regular offline events via The Escape School - the career, life and startup education you never got at school.

Kim Kardashian answered a question about whether a mother can or cannot have it all and the Internet is all-abuzz!

Daily Mail sums it all up with: 'My mum taught us we CAN have it all': Kim Kardashian wades into the age-old debate of balancing motherhood and a career as she says it all comes down to 'prioritising' "Hot on the heels of PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi's candid and controversial admission that she doesn't think women can have it all, Kim Kardashian has weighed in on the debate.

During an interview alongside sisters Kourtney and Khloé with CNBC's Closing Bell on Monday, the mum-of-one was asked her thoughts on whether she believes women can raise a family and have a successful career at the same time.

'I mean, I think that's just not really, like, a positive outlook,' she said of Nooyi's declaration that women simply 'pretend' they can have it all. 'My mum kind of taught us girls we could have it all.'"

As always when there are topics like this discussed about Celebrity Mums, what fascinates me are readers' comments.

We have two categories of Kardashian haters: We have the people who can't even tolerate hearing Kim Kardashian speak because she is simply a sex-tape queen and reality-tv "star." How can she possibly have anything of any kind of intelligence to say?

Then there are those who want to point out that no Celebrity Mums have the right to enter the debate because their definitions of "working" are so different from the majority of "real" workings mothers. When a woman is making a "choice" to work, but could as easily sit home and eat bon-bons, then her opinion does not really count.

It's almost as if reporters throw the old "Can a woman have it all" question to Celebrity Mums just to create controversy. They know when they are asking the question that viewers are going to raise Hell no matter what their response is.

If Kardashian were to have answered, No, I don't think women can have it all; they have to make choices about what they value most, we would have complained - But who are you to say that? You can have it all because you have access to nannies and assistants!

I mean, really, how can Kardashian possibly answer that question without causing an uproar?

The question itself is kind of ridiculous.

Can a woman have a successful career and balance a family at the same time? Yes, of course she can, but there are going to be challenges; there are going to be sacrifices. We all know that. No matter which "work" we decide to focus on, kids or outside-the-home job, we are going to have questions about whether we are making the right choices.

Can we just stop nit-picking on Celebrity Mums? Can we simply accept that their answers often come from a place of privilege? But they still are making choices of how they spend their time. They still have a right to enter the debate and weigh in.

Let's shift the focus instead to how we as a society can help families, both mothers and fathers (celebrity and non), find the perfect balance to raising children, earning money and pursuing fulfilling careers.

Nearly half of the UK's adult workforce are more stressed than 12 months ago and according to a study released today a third are unable to go a whole day without turning to a sugary snack for relief.

Whilst seeking comfort in sugar might comfort momentarily, in the long run it's slightly counterproductive. Stimulants such as sugar and caffeine can trigger a stress reaction even when no external stress is present, so wise snacking is beneficial to tacking day-to-day strains. Learning to snack efficently can be daunting, as when you think you've just got it right you find your low-cal fibre bar is jam packed with artificial nasties.

Nutritionist Patrick Holford suggests: "The recommendation to cut sugar intake to 5% of calories (actually we 'need' none) is a step in the right direction. It's not just sugar, but 'fast' carbohydrates, that are driving weight gain, diabetes and heart disease. So, eating low sugar foods, especially oat-based which is the slowest sugar releasing grain, is the easiest way to get your total sugar intake down to 5%, which means a total intake of no more than 5 teaspoons. A teaspoon of sugar is roughly 4 grams. Most cans of fizzy drinks contain 30 grams - nine teaspoons."

A recent report from the Scientific Advisory Committee on Nutrition (SACN) urges the UK population to get no more than 5% of its daily energy intake from sugar. This is the equivalent of 25 grams (5 teaspoons) of sugar for women and 35 grams (8 teaspoons) for men - a 50% reduction from current recommended daily intakes which so many of us already struggle to achieve.

While most of us strive to maintain a balanced and healthy diet, we all know how tempting it can be to grab a chocolate bar or sugary drink in hurry. So here are some tasty alternatives for maintaining high levels of fibre and reducing sugar intake to help you hit the new targets:

Oat-So-Wonderful

Nairn's range of oatcakes are packed full of wholegrain oats, high in fibre and have no added sugar. They're also jam packed with complex carbohydrates giving you a natural boost to help you get the most out of your day. Try them on their own if you're feeling peckish before meals or spice them up with a healthy topping for lunch.

Nairn's oatcakes are available from Waitrose and all major retailers for an RRP of £1.29.

A Healthy Handbag Snack

For a wheat-free snack that won't hinder your healthy eating efforts, look no further than Nairn's new Muesli Breaks. Oats are packed full of nutrients and have long been recommended by health experts as a source of soluble fibre to keep your digestive system in tip top condition and help you feel fuller for longer. Nairn's Muesli Breaks are packed full of Scottish oats, currants and sunflower seeds and also come in single serve pouches to aid portion control.

Nairn's Muesli Breaks are available from Sainsbury's, Waitrose and independent health food stores for an RRP of £1.69 or 50p for a single serve pouch (2 oatcakes).

Afternoon Indulgence Anyone?

Boredom, deadlines and the afternoon chocolate run can make work a notoriously challenging environment for sticking to healthy eating. But don't stress! Sit back and savour the delicious taste of Nairn's Oat Biscuits, available in four delicious flavours (Dark Chocolate Chip, Fruit & Spice, Mixed Berries and Stem Ginger). Pop a pack in your bag to see how Nairn's oat biscuits can help you stay naturally energised throughout the day.

Nairn's Oat Biscuits are available from Sainsbury's, Waitrose and independent health food stores for an RRP of £1.35.

The Ultimate Thirst Quencher

Looking to re-hydrate the tasty way? Then look no further than CHI Coconut Water. Made using only 100% natural coconut water, Chi has made a drink that combines both taste and vitality, with no added sugar or preservatives.

Bursting with health benefits, the Chi original has twice the potassium of the average banana and more than most other sports drinks, leaving you feeling refreshed and energised. Each serving contains fibre to aid digestion; electrolytes to keep your body vibrant; protein to stave off hunger pangs; vitamins B, C and E and it's also a rich source of calcium and iron.

Chi Coconut Water (Original) can be found in Tesco, Whole Foods, Amazon.co.uk, Planet Organic and other health food stores nationwide. Available in two sizes: 330ml, RRP £1.69 and 1 litre, RRP £3.49.

For further information and nutritional values please visit Nairn's and Chi

A lot of weight loss stories involve the Atkins, Paleo or Cambridge diet. But one woman, who dropped 10 stone after being inspired by her healthy and active sister, went for a much simpler option: she went vegetarian.

Kate Lappin, 32, of Warrington, was overweight and targeted by bullies during her schooldays while her younger sister Kim was popular.

After Kim launched a career as a glamour model, Kate, a carer, decided to take control of her life and ditched extra-large portions of comfort food which saw her shrink down from size 22 to the size 8 she is today.

She said: “I detested being the larger sister. I have a clear memory of mum and dad taking me to Euro Disney when we were kids. We had matching Minnie Mouse outfits on and mine was so much bigger than hers. It was very upsetting.

“I hated myself for a long time, and struggled with so many issues to do with food, that I wasn’t ready to make lasting change for a long time.”

weight loss

Kate, who is several years older than Kim, saw her body develop differently through adolescence and she became increasingly shy.

She said: “Kim was always active. She was more outgoing. I didn’t like joining in, doing things with other children. I preferred staying home, keeping myself to myself. When Kim went off to parties, I hid under the dinner table because I didn’t want to go.

“I developed so many issues over eating and food. As my size grew, I started to experience bullying in school. When I was 15 I was walking along the street when a car full of lads pulled over and they all called me fat.

“Later I tried to go to the theatre with a boyfriend and I couldn’t fit into the tiny seats. All I could do was fake a panic attack and rush out of the audience, absolutely mortified.

“Kim, who was the most popular girl in school, was very protective of me when she saw I was upset. She would pin the bullies down and get them to apologise. She’s still very caring towards me, even today.”

Story continues below the slideshow:

In early 2010, the sisters’ stepfather, Dave Easton, passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack.

Kate said: “My stepdad’s death hit me incredibly hard. He had been very supportive of me. I was completely devastated. I hardly left my house for a year, being completely inactive and giving in to my food cravings. My weight just went up and up.”

SEE ALSO:

Do Reality TV Shows Promote Fattism? This Expert Seems To Think So

This Lady Lost 6 Stone - Her Husband Thought She Was Cheating On Him

By the end of 2010, Kate weighed 20st 1lb and was wearing size 22 clothes. In contrast, Kim was in the early stages of what is today a successful career in modelling, seeing her photographs printed in magazines and making appearances at live events.

Kate said: “I knew that if my stepdad was looking down he would be upset to see me in the state I was. I decided to make huge changes. I realised that if Kim could do it, there was nothing to stop me getting back to a good state of health.”

Kate drew up her own vegetarian diet plan which moved her daily diet away from stodgy comfort food towards lighter options with a focus on vegetables. In just over a month she lost a remarkable three stone.

Before beginning her weight loss journey, Kate typically ate four rounds of butter and jam for breakfast, followed by an extra-large portion of spaghetti bolognese for lunch, and an Indian or Chinese takeaway or pizza with extra cheese for evening meal. She would snack on crisps, particularly Pringles, throughout the day.

Today, Kate eats a banana for breakfast, followed by a Quorn ham salad sandwich on lighter-calorie bread for lunch, followed by Quorn chicken fillets with vegetables for her evening meal. She tried to avoid snacking, but when she does, she eats fruit.

She is now at 9st 7lb and can fit into size 8 clothing - having lost 10st 6lb and shrunk seven dress sizes.

She said: “Kim’s amazingly supportive. All throughout my weight loss she’s been willing me on, and giving me tips about new clothes to buy for my wardrobe. She’s over the moon - except when I keep borrowing her clothes without telling her.

“I now go to the gym regularly and love long bike rides. My life has been completely transformed.”

Kim said: “Kate used to ask me why she couldn’t be beautiful like me, which broke my heart as to me, she always was.

“When I started modelling I was very cautious of putting it right under her nose as I didn’t want to upset her, but Kate was really supportive and if anything it helped to inspire her to lose the weight.

“I’m so proud of her. I’ve been thrilled when I’ve been able to share dresses with her. I’m over the moon.”

The popularity of women's memoirs is booming. Women from all walks of life are finding that memoirs are a way of communicating, shedding light on experiences that would go unnoticed, hidden in a world dominated by men and male preferences.

Orange is the New Black, a memoir Piper Kerman wrote about her year in a woman's prison is not only a best-selling book but now one of the biggest shows on television. As is Call the Midwife, Jennifer Worth's memoir about her life as a young midwife in post-war London.

And we may have sadly lost Maya Angelou but how heart-warming it is to see A Caged Bird Sings, Angelou's memoir on overcoming childhood abuse and trauma, storm up the best-seller list again.

Memoirs can also be controversial. But as Amanda Knox and Samantha Geimar, authors of respective memoirs Waiting to be Heard and The Girl: A Life in the Shadow of Roman Polanski, will tell you, memoirs give women a platform to be heard in their own words away from lurid headlines.

Not only do memoirs bring out a whole world of unheard stories but writing one can also start a new career. Author Polly Courtney has now published a further six books since starting with her memoir of life in The City in Golden Handcuffs. And it's a path I hope to follow as my own memoir Banking on Burlesque, was published last year.

Like all good memoirs my story focuses on an unusual experience - that of a female investment banker thrown out for her secret hobby as a burlesque performer - and set in worlds that people are curious about - banking and burlesque.

But more than that, memoirs resonate because of the shared emotive experiences. So though my story may be unusual, if not unique, readers can relate because of common themes for everyone, such as finding a way to live rather than exist, the expression and censorship around female sensuality, as well as institutionalised sexism.

In recognition that there are so many more stories from women that deserve to be heard, the women's writing magazine Mslexia has dedicated its annual novel competition to memoirs only.

If this is something you want to do, great! But remember that a memoir is not an autobiography. It is not an entire life history, rather a focus on an event or period in life that is unusual, exceptional and that would, for all intents and purposes, make for a great story - with the exceptional fact that this story is true.

And when I say 'true', don't feel trapped into thinking that every word you write in a memoir must be the literal truth. Not at all. Memoirs are shaped to fit a story arc and between the covers of a book. For example, my memoir condensed an eight-year period into 90,000 words so editing was absolutely necessary!

But also the truth of any memoir is only ever going to be your truth. I'm sure other people who've witnessed your events in your life would describe them another way. And that's ok. It's your own truth, how you saw them and how they impacted you that people want to connect with.

As a result, there's a temptation to think that memoirs are easy to write. I mean, you've just got to regurgitate what you remember, right? No. Please don't think that! Not only does the literal truth require examination in order to make it interesting but the process of writing a memoir can be difficult.

My book was about the best of times and the worst of times in my life. That meant reliving again and again a period of my life that maybe I'd rather have chosen to forget. My decision also came with consequences - investment banks don't exactly respond well to former employees publishing their experiences!

But more than this, memoir writing requires an examination of yourself.

An interesting main character has faults, contradictions and even truly horrible personality traits. How prepared are you to make yourself ugly on the page?

Like me, you may want to write about a situation where you were the victim but be careful. This set-up can lead you to romanticise yourself, to portray yourself as a perfectly wonderful person that had no faults yet suffered a terrible injustice.

We are all complicated beings and we respond to seeing that complication reflected back at us. So when you hold up that mirror to yourself, write the bad as well as the good. And have strength that displaying your flaws will not detract from sympathy for you. It won't. Quite the opposite - it will show that you're human.

Also beware of using a memoir to vent frustrations. I have sympathy for this knee-jerk reaction, I really do. My first draft of Banking on Burlesque suffered with this very issue. It actually took me a few years from my first to final draft to complete as I needed to create emotional distance between myself and the events I was writing about. Time heals wounds - and also improves writing.

Having said all this, please don't feel daunted or put-off from writing a memoir. If you have a story to tell, tell it! Who's to say that your story, your own experience isn't just what we're all waiting to hear?

Mslexia has also created some online workshops to help you get the most out of your ideas on such crucial areas such as 'finding your voice' and building the skeleton of your story. So why not enter? What more can I say to persuade you?

Well, if you think writing is something you want to pursue long-term, being shortlisted in the competition will put your novel at the top of any agent's or editor's in-tray. Rosie Garland, winner of Mslexia's inaugural Women's Novel Competition in 2011, signed a six-figure deal with HarperCollins soon after winning the competition.

Plus 12 shortlisted authors will be invited to a networking event and introduced to a specially invited group of literary agents. The three finalists will also each received detailed feedback on their manuscript from The Literary Consultancy. And feedback really is crucial for all of us wanting to develop a new career.

And the winner? Well, they'll receive £5,000 - need I say more?!

Submissions need to be the first 5,000 words of a full-length memoir, written in prose, and narrate actual events in your life. Have a look on the website here. And good luck!

Victoria's debut novel Banking on Burlesque is now available on Amazon as well as iBooks and all good online retailers.

9 Ways to Grow Your Business and Enjoy The Journey written by Maite Baron The Corporate Escape Coach

Running your on business is often hard work, specially till you manage to build momentum and getting things moving smooth.

If you're ambitious for your business, you won't want to hang about. So here are nine growth strategies to help you get the most from your time and effort as a business owner or as an entrepreneur.

1. Find the difference that makes the difference. Always look to do something, anything, differently. Just repeating what you've always done in the past really isn't good enough if you're looking to make significant progress. And if you aren't changing with the times, the market you're in certainly is, and by keeping on doing what you've always done, you are setting yourself up to be left behind, let alone achieve the growth you are looking for.

2. Learn from other industries. Don't blindly follow 'best practice' in your business. If you do, you should only expect to get the same results as everyone else in your industry. If you really want to stand out from the crowd, you need to look at other industries and sectors. Check out what they are doing and how they do it, then consider how you might apply their different approach to your own business to generate breakthrough ideas to really get your business growing.

3. Break the cycle of 'too much effort for too little result'. Restaurants continually look at the dishes on their menu to identify those that are popular and the 'duds', which they then remove. You can do the same by regularly reviewing the products and services you offer. When you identify ones that aren't very profitable, or are high maintenance in terms of customer service, get rid of them. Then either introduce a new product or service or use the resources and time you've just released to focus on your other existing opportunities.

4. Leverage to your advantage. Increase the number of channels you use to market your business, but don't try to use them all at once. Test each in turn and decide which work best for your products and services. Don't waste time on marketing channels that no longer perform well for you. You can repurpose your marketing content so that it can be used across multiple social media platforms. Aim for methods that allow you to scale upwards easily, like email, online marketing and social media. In this way, it takes no more effort to market to 10,000 potential customers as it does to 10. It's an approach that even the smallest company can use so don't ignore technology and how it can help you grow your business.

5. Measure, measure, measure. Get to know and understand the small - but crucially important - metrics in your business. While 'obvious' numbers like turnover and profit are vital, there are many other possible metrics to track and monitor. For example, the number of leads it takes to land a new client, or the number of presentations you have to make to do the same, the average value of your projects, and which of your markets is the most profitable. If you know these figures, you will have targets to achieve, or ideally improve on, by refining your processes and the way you go about doing business.

6. Understand the benefit of partnerships. Developing joint ventures and strategic alliances is one of the most powerful ways to grow your business fast. By working in collaboration with others, you get immediate access to their markets, providing you with the opportunity to promote to a whole new range of clients or customers and support each others' growth while also adding value to others.

7. Build your business by actively encouraging referrals. If you do a good job, why not ask satisfied clients or customers for the names of others who may be interested in your service or product? If you haven't yet put in place a simple, well-organised referral system, then make it a high priority. 'Warm' referrals are far easier to convert than 'ordinary' leads.

8. Make time and systems your friend. Increase the volume of work your business does by becoming an efficient project manager and effective leader, so that you get more done in less time. This doesn't mean making dramatic, leap-forward changes. Small incremental improvements consistently done, what the Japanese call 'kaizen', can build to deliver dramatic results. Put systems in place to streamline essential activities.

9. Don't aim for perfection, aim for completion. To get off the ground, be happy to be imperfect in what you do. Recognise that everything can always be better, but that if you try and make something perfect before trying to sell or provide it, you will never go to market. Instead, go for long term improvement by making a product or service 'good enough', then gradually making it better over time using feedback from your marketplace. Done is better than perfect.

And finally, if you want to really grow your business, make time to work 'on' it, as opposed to 'in' it, by applying strategies like these every day. Don't just sit back and expect it to happen naturally.

Above all, concentrate on what matter most, rather than 'sweating the small stuff'. If you spend an hour each day, preferably first thing in the morning, doing 'growth work', by the end of each month you will have spent say 20 hours of time dedicated to growing your business. That's at least 200 hours over the year, equivalent to a whole month of business building days.

Ready to take some action?

Let us know in the comments box below which of these 9 strategies you will start implementing first.

And if you have enjoyed this article, then please share it with others.

Double Award winning book, Reader Favorite Gold Award and Nautilus Silver Award Maite Baron Corporate Escape The Rise of The New Entrepreneur

Looking for more inspiration from the Award winning author, speaker and coach Maite Baron, then download 2 free chapters from her Nautilus 2014 Award winning book Corporate Escape The Rise of the New Entrepreneur. With the bonus that you will receive her weekly thought provoking updates. Get your download here.

On my way back home from a party around half past one in the morning, I thoroughly looked for a cab, but couldn't find one. So I decided to walk some distance. Scared out of my wits, I could never imagine doing anything like that in India. Unfamiliar with the roads, I kept walking. I was aware that Brighton is one of the safest cities in England. But how safe could it be, I wondered, for a woman lost on the streets at midnight?

The fear has ingrained itself. To reach home before it gets dark, to not go out at night, to always ask a male friend to accompany, if it gets too late. This has not been thrust upon me; this is what I have embraced myself, like any other Indian woman. There are recurring warnings, and we are discouraged from being too audacious and extrovert. If ever the fear recedes, another assault and a lesson is learnt. 'She was out at night, her clothes were too revealing, she was drunk, she had gone out with men'. So we have adapted to being confined to our homes

The scenario isn't too bleak either. We (urban middle class) do get equal opportunities as men. We get best possible education. Many of us get to work. Some women are fortunate enough to get everything, majority gets absolutely nothing. Partying, going out at night, coming late defies the moral standards of an Indian woman and only a woman of loose character go as far as consuming alcohol (it's okay for men).

Nevertheless, urban women are increasingly breaking the barriers. They are competing with men in all arena of life. They are flouting the norms and redefining the status quo. Coincidentally, crime rate against woman is also escalating. Suddenly, there is a sense of déjà vu in the moral brigade of the civil society. 'Women are better off at home. What else do they expect if they wander alone, wear revealing clothes or get drunk? They are ought to be raped!'

In the middle of nowhere, I still couldn't find a taxi. I gulped with fear and cursed my callous attitude. It has been a few months in Britain and I am still not familiar with the roads. I could have asked someone to drop me home, but didn't. Finally, I spotted a taxi and immediately jumped onto the backseat.

On having returned home safely, I promised myself, I will never go out after dark. In England that actually means, I will never go out at all! However, when I sit back and recall the night, not at one instance did I encounter a suspicious move or an uncomfortable gaze. Nobody had anything to do with me; no one cared. I am not a prey here!

I won't keep the promise for long, I guess. We can't so much as live in fear all the time. It's time to break free of the paranoia. Things will be different when I go back to India. I will be told to mend my ways and to stay in my limits. Having confronted my fears, I will try and keep up the attitude, on the face of it. It may take a long time before every woman can feel safe to stand alone on the streets after dark, but sooner or later, there will be a day.

When you come out of a relationship one of the scariest things can be putting yourself back out there and start dating again. And if you've been in a relationship for a while - it may be that things have changed quite a bit since you were last on the scene!

Don't worry! I've got your back.

If you've been out of the single's world for a while then today's article is for you.

Because, dating is scary. It just is. It's you, on your own, meeting new people, trying to come across as the best you possible and constantly risking being stood up, humiliated and rejected. Nice.

The reality is that love is a leap of faith and the risk you have to take is of having your heart broken. But, if you've ever been in love, you know that it's a risk so worth taking.

And the worries don't stop there. He could turn out to be a 'crazy'. You could end up wasting your time, he could already have a girlfriend or be seeing loads of other girls at the same time.

These are all possibilities, valid concerns and worries.

But, however worried, concerned or scared you are of that potential rejection, humiliation, awkwardness, millionth date, waste of time - remember, dating is just a process. Like .......doing the spring-cleaning or your taxes......

It's a journey whose final destination will be worth all the potential heartache, time and worry.

So let's look at my top tips for how to date.

1. Know What You Want From Dating

Are you looking for a fling?
Are you after some companionship?
Are you looking for a baby daddy?
Or are you looking for your husband?

Before you begin dating know what it is that you are looking for, before, because it will change the way you approach dating.

For example if you're looking for a fling you may be after someone who rocks your world, you fancy like mad and who is spontaneous, exciting and wild.

If it's a baby daddy - you may be looking for someone very reliable, very loyal, committed and stable.

For a potential husband it may be a little bit of all those things. Importantly you'll need to know that he's on the same page as you for the things that you deem the most important. Does he share your values, your visions and your life goals?

Whatever it is you're looking for, know what you want before starting the dating journey and adapt your search and your style accordingly.

2. Make a Good First Impression

We are biologically programmed to judge people within the first 7 seconds of meeting them. So make sure that you are ready and prepared to make the best of every one of those seconds.

Often on a first date we can be a little closed off and awkward, defensive and desperate not to look 'too keen'. But this can send the wrong message.

Have open body language so that he knows you want to find out more about him. Face towards him, look him in the eyes and be interested in what he's saying. Listen to him, be interested and interesting. Be polite, considerate and charming. Turn off your phone and engage with him.

Put some effort into the way you look. Wear an outfit you feel great in. Wash your hair and paint your nails. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good. Because when you feel good about yourself you'll relax and be yourself. And when you're relaxed and yourself you'll come across as the best you possible. And the best you possible can't fail to make a great first impression.

3. Be Honest

Be Honest to Yourself. If it doesn't feel right, don't see him again. We often think that someone might get better suited to us or more interesting or charismatic on a 2nd, 3rd or 4th date. This rarely happens! So, listen to your intuition and take action on it.

Be Honest to Him. Let him know the sort of relationship you're after. Don't feel pressurized to agree with what he wants. If he tells you he just wants a casual fling and you don't - tell him. Don't go along with it, hoping he'll change his mind when he knows you better and realizes how awesome you are. You'll be setting yourself up for a potential fall.

Alternatively, if you're not really interested in a relationship with him, be clear and upfront about this. It will both save you time and potential upset going forwards.

4. Be Confident

Be sure to come across as the confident, strong woman that you are.

If he feels like you wait around all day pining for him, or that you have no life and no friends, he's going to think twice about a relationship with you. If you have a great life, do fun things, have lovely friends, go out and live - he's going to want to be a part of this amazing world that you've created. You'll come across as the fabulous woman that you are and he will feel less pressure and less needed.

5. Take a Chance

Be selective about who you go on dates with and value yourself, however don't be too selective. If you keep holding out for the 'perfect' man you could be waiting a looong time and miss out on the person who is perfect for you.

Consciously decide to be open to the possibility of being with someone who is different from the people you typically choose.

If you normally go for beer swilling, slightly chauvinistic, rugby player type, try an emotionally connected artist who volunteers at the homeless shelter.

When you consciously choose to break a pattern, you can establish a better relationship with a better, albeit unfamiliar, outcome - i.e the relationship may actually last.

So, in today's exercise I want you to answer the below questions, as openly and honestly as you can:

• What do I want from this dating experience?
• What outfit do I have that I feel great in, that I can wear on my next date?
• Where am I going to look for my next date?
• How am I going to make sure that I am open to a new type of man?

And then take action. Get yourself out there. Join some clubs, arrange a girls night somewhere fun where you may meet some men, sign up to an online dating site.

Enjoy and good luck!

Rowany Rendell volunteered on Frontier's Madagascar Teaching, Wildlife and Diving project where she undertook numerous dives, learnt to identify many different marine and wildlife and excelled in teaching local children. Here, Rowany spoke to us about her time on all aspects of the project, as well as her enjoyment of searching for camouflaged reptiles!

All images courtesy of Frontier Madagascar

Weeks 1-3; Marine conservation

It took me a week to get used to the environment, as even though I liked the food, I struggled to eat much, though I soon got my appetite back to its usual size once I had adjusted to the climate and my malaria pills. Anyway despite my lack of energy I still enjoyed the quick intro into PADI (I found that I was at a slight advantage as I had already started working through the book).

I love being in the water and found that I learnt and felt more comfortable in the water each and every time I went down, the only thing I disliked was getting back into the boat; it took me 2 and a half weeks to be able to do this on my own reliably (though being sea sick wasn't very pleasant either). The thing I loved the most was learning, passing the tests and also being able to identify what I saw in the water as this made me appreciate what I saw more; particularly when I knew it was something rare. I also loved the night dive as the luminescence was stunning!

Weeks 4-7; Teaching

I loved teaching so much that I stayed on an extra week, even though this cut into my already shortened Forest section (due to a mix up with my visa). I have a bit of previous teaching experience though I still felt a bit nervous, but once I started I was fine. My 1st 2 days teaching were at Les Abeilles with some pre-primary children as the normal school was closed. This was a good experience as I got to see a variety of teaching methods over a range of age groups as the younger children only went to school in the morning, I was then invited to join some of the older classes where I was also able to try teaching for the first time, which was unexpected but nice. Once the school was open again I was able to get into a good routine teaching with session plans, and so, with much repetition through the range of classes, I was soon able to assess and develop my teaching and board writing techniques. School days generally began with sports classes, though these were not as set in stone as the English lessons so sometimes the teachers chose not to bring the children out if it was raining, but when they came the sessions were fun and energetic with lots of relay races.

The English lessons were half an hour long and with the teachers in the classroom all we had to do was teach, and the children seemed eager to learn. There were also 3 youth club evening sessions a week, which I was involved in more and more until the final week [when] Alex and I were able to plan and run the session on our own. I enjoyed these sessions as there was an interesting group of students aged between 16 and 26, so it was a chance to try out a different style of teaching.

I found the most challenging thing was planning for and teaching at MFR (an English course based in an agricultural college), as I had not been there before or met the people, and they did not know me at first and so they were quiet and shy, which I found a little off putting after teaching loud and energetic children. However, I also found it the most educational, as not only was it interesting to see how different people of different ages learnt and how to plan the lessons to match; I also had to do more in depth revision of content itself as I haven't really thought about the different parts of the English language. So, I now know more about nouns, pronouns and adjectives than I did before. I was also lucky enough to be part of a project where I was able to give some Malagasy teachers some advice on assessments, and chatting with some of them individually highlighted to me how much they have to deal with. I thought teaching in England was hard enough but with very little resources and so much curriculum to cover with 60 to 120+ children per class, they do extremely well!

Weeks 7-8.5; Forest conservation

This was something I had been looking forward to, and I was continually on the lookout for reptiles even around town, as I was hooked as soon as I saw my first gecko on camp. I had hoped to get a head start with learning the names of the reptiles while I was in town, but what with one thing and another, this didn't happen. But I surprised myself again with the speed at which I learnt them on camp so it didn't matter.

I enjoyed seeing the lemurs close up as it was nice to see them at ease in their natural habitat, and I enjoyed catching butterflies as it was interesting to find that their casual / erratic way of flying actually makes it a lot harder to catch them as it was very hard to predict where they were going to go next, and they were deceptively fast. But my favourite part was the active searches for reptiles; as they were extremely good at hiding and were often well camouflaged, so I found it very exciting and satisfying when I saw something, even if it was something that was very common. My highlight was finding the Brookesia; I guess it makes me feel special to have found something so rare or so good at hiding!

As amazing as the chameleons are, my favourite reptiles have to be the geckos; the way their belly moves from left to right when they walk, the way they can walk up and down walls, the way they curl their toes up when they don't need to use their sticky pads, the way they stalk and pounce on flies, and the rare occasions when they move their tale like a snake - so totally cool! I feel inspired to learn more about them and how and why they do these things.

Author Rowany Rendell volunteered on Frontier's Madagascar Teaching, Wildlife and Diving project . Frontier is an international, nonprofit volunteering NGO with over 300 dedicated conservation, community development and adventure projects worldwide.

This article was originally published on Frontier's blog. To find see more from projects please visit Frontier's Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Pinterest, or see photos shared by volunteers in the field by searching #frontiervolunteer on Instagram.

If you're trying to kick start weight loss you may be among the many who've considered trying out the Atkins diet.

Thanks to celebrity endorsement (from the likes of Kim Kardashian and Sharon Osbourne), the diet has been simmering on our radar for years, but what exactly does it involve?

Created by Robert Atkins, the Atkins diet is a low-carbohydrate high-protein weight loss programme.

bacon

The idea is that by limiting consumption of carbohydrates, the body will switch from metabolising glucose as energy to converting stored body fat to energy.

The website (Atikins.com) states: "The Atkins plan consists of four phases, with gradual increased carb intake for each phase. The plan allows an individual to find his or her perfect carbohydrate balance that is ideal for their personal weight loss or maintenance.

"Atkins dieters are motivated to change and maintain their eating patterns with delicious and healthy food options."

In contrast to the Dukan diet, the Atkins diet allows unlimited fat and some veg during the initial phase which lasts for two weeks.

SEE ALSO:

Health Experts Rank 32 Of The Best And Worst Diets For 2014

Atkins Diet: Low-Carb Diet Linked To Heart Disease And Stroke Risk

During the next three phases, some carbs, and more fruit and veg are introduced to your diet with the aim of working out what your ideal carb intake is to maintain a healthy weight for life.

Atkins say that as well as aiding weight loss, their diet plan has other benefits.

"There are also many digestive benefits that come with following Atkins. Fiber requirements can be easily met because the Atkins diet replaces highly refined, low-fiber carbohydrates with salad greens, fresh vegetables, low sugar fruit, nuts, seeds and whole grains," the website states.

Here's what to eat on the diet:

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